I have a beautiful custom made pillow, thanks to my dear friend. It is adorned with hand-stitched miniature flowers and emerald leaves and has a ruffle around the outside. It is my version of a security blanket. When hunkering into bed, it's the perfect size to tuck into and support a place that hurts (be it the ache in your back, the pain in your knee or the spasm in your neck). It brings me as much comfort as my friend who created it. After my family, it is one of those items that I would first grab as essential, if I awoke to a house fire. Between the elegantly stitched vines of flowers it bears the first commandment of the Mom Creed: "Never, never, NEVER fuck with my kids.". Some would think such a thing in your home is vulgar. I display it proudly and consider it a warning to anyone who dare to hurt, manipulate, betray or otherwise inflict pain on any of my children.
As a woman, as soon as that sperm and egg join, you morph into protection mode. From that moment of conception, at least for me, the words "Mother" and "Protector" became synonymous. While pregnant, you read books, eat right, exercise, give up coffee and whatever vices you once had to protect the child growing in your womb. You follow your doctor's orders, clean and childproof your home and install a car seat. Once your child is born, you are keenly aware that you're number one job is to protect that precious child until the day you die. Between teaching them to walk and helping them ride a two wheeler, you protect your child from bruises and scratches and an occasional school yard bully. The protection instinct of a mother is stronger than a any superhero, and if provoked can be meaner than a pit bull in pearls and lipstick.
That feeling becomes more intense as your child grows up. Not only will you take a bullet for your baby, you learn to be tough when there is a lesson to be learned. The lesson stuff, at times, feels like that bullet pierced your heart--usually when your child is somewhere in their mid-teens. As your children grow into young adults, you wait for that life changing epiphany when they actually say, "Mom and Dad you WERE right!". I distinctly remember the day of my personal epiphany. My father smiled, adjusted his hat and with a twinkle in his eye, he said (with a smile), "How about that! The OLDER you get, the SMARTER I get!". I remember it like it was yesterday...we were in his wine cellar, drinking from huge glasses filled with his latest vintage while we ate a salami. He reminded me of that day many times over the years, perhaps as revenge for the times I thought he was wrong about almost everything.
It is a beautiful thing when, as a parent, you witness that moment of enlightenment, and it is from such experience I speak. It is somewhat like an out of body experience and you realize you have to step back and allow your "baby" to hit their stride. The first time you watch your child spread their wings, is as though you are seeing them for the first time. The immeasurable pride of watching your child achieve a milestone is a feeling which completes you as a parent--make no mistake, however, the Mom Creed stands firm. Although your children will grow into adults, own real estate and vote in the general elections, your protective instincts will remain in tact. That's the thing about my pillow, it will never become outdated or out of style. Once a Mother, always a Mother.
When I look back at the past twelve months, I flashback to birthdays, Vanessa and Frank's wedding, laughter at the Sunday dinner table, Maddie's Cinnabar performances, my sunflowers, Christmas morning and the beautiful harvest moon. I've watched my son turn 21 and continue to excel in his studies at college. I've seen Katie complete her Student Teaching and receive her California teaching credential. The passing of my sweet, gentle Mother-in-law was all too profound and, in itself, life changing as I wait for the birth of my Grand baby, Lily. In less than 3 weeks, I will watch my beautiful Katie take that walk down the isle and officially become Mrs. Brent Kidder. The snapshots flash quickly in my mind--these Kodak moments in my head....smiling faces, beautiful faces, immeasurable graces.
