Madelyn's Toast For Her New Brother-in-Law

What follows is the speech which Madelyn deleverd PERFECTLY on the day of Katie and Brent's wedding. I'm envoking mother privledge and reprinting her words on my blog....

For those of you who don’t know me I’m Maddie Katie’s little sister. You probablycan’t tell because we look nothing alike!

Katie and Brent, or Wayne and Dragon as I like to call them, have been together for seven years. I’m 15, so if you do the math, I was 8 when they began dating. It is easy to say that I have few memories before Brent became part of our family. The first time I met Brent was on one of our yearly trips to Mt. Shasta. When we arrived at the motel the first day none of the 'big kids' would play with me. At one point, I was in the pool all by myself wishing that I had a friend to play with me. But, when Brent arrived the next morning, all of that changed. He played with me, made me laugh, and that year began the tradition where Brent began launching me from the shallow end to the deep end of the pool. I believe that year he also sported a hot pink sarong and a "do rag" for the first time. When I was 9, Brent taught me to pump a keg of beer. It was really cool to return to 5th grade after summer vacation and be the only kid who knew how to tap a keg.

Throughout the years Brent attended my volleyball games, Christmas, even my graduation from 8th grade. He also attended all of my musical theater performances at Cinnibar, without complaining. He is seated at our Sunday table every week, unless he has to work or he and Kate are out of town. After dinner, while my siblings and I are arguing about whose turn it is to do dishes, Brent is the first person up to do the dishes and is usually done while we are still arguing. At our house, if you do Sunday dinner dishes, you’re welcome anytime. Dishes aside, if I had to pick someone for my sister to marry, it would be Brent Kidder. Although I've loved him like a brother from the first day we met, today makes it "official" and I couldn't be happier. Love you guys! Please raise you glasses and toast my Brother-in-law and Sister, Mr. & Mrs. Brent Kidder.

The Fabric of Family

It is common belief that people are individuals. The letters DNA represent single cells which create no two people alike (except for identical twins). Due to my lack of formal education, I am not one to argue the scientific evidence of an individual’s DNA profile. Although evidence exists that we are all “individuals”, I believe no matter how scientifically different we are, the history of ‘who we are’ and ‘where we come from’ can be the marker of the person we become. In other words, if we all agree that we are genetically different; the one thing that bonds us as humans is our history. The stories told from generation to generation, not only mold us into the people we eventually become, but also weave together the fabric of a family. The bond that links you to your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. In truth, family is what you make of it. It is made strong, not by the number of heads you count around the Sunday table, but by the stories you share, the traditions you keep, the love which you show to one another, the ability to forgive and accept, and by the hopes for the future you have both as individuals and as a family unit.

Seven years ago, Katie and Brent were brought together by two friends. Little did they know on that summer evening in 2002 that 63 years earlier, in the small one-horse town of Novato, California, their great-grandparents crossed paths: His owned a grocery store in old town Novato; and hers were dairy farmers who had relocated to Novato from the San Joaquin Valley. The young sweethearts from the new melinimuim never knew that on the night HIS grandmother met HIS grandfather, she was on a date with HIS future bride’s great uncle? Any closer, they could have been related and none of us would be here today!

Katie and Brent were born in the same town, never attended the same schools, yet were raised in houses less than 5 blocks apart. Throughout their courtship, their similar backgrounds and familial history were the perfect foundation for their new life as their own family unit. They established a home, educated themselves, matured and now come before us to celebrate their future as a family…..not just the family of Mr. and Mrs. Brent Kidder, but the joining of the Kidders and the Heizers two families who have intertwined together for generations and are now sealed together for eternity. In every conceivable manner, the family is a link to our past and a link to our future

Vows do not hold a marriage together. What holds a marriage are mere threads—hundreds of tiny threads—which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last…the threads, the fabric of our family, the history and most importantly the evolution. Today is not just the union of Katie and Brent; it is the joining of the Kidder and Heizer families. The threads which bind us are blessed by those who came before us, because when we honor Katie and Brent, we honor all who came before….the ones of whom we tell the stories.

If you look deeply into the palm of your hand imagine you see your parents, your grandparents and all of the generations of your family which came before you. All of them are alive at this moment. Each is among you today. Katie and Brent, you are the future of our families joined here today. When you join hands to say your vows you do so with the blessings of all present today.

May God bless you and keep you always.

NOTE: On the day I read the above reflection to the guests and wedding party, a beautiful Monarch Butterfly flew over the heads of those seated.

The picture is of Katie's Great Grandparents, Rufus and Sadie Griffin on thier wedding day.